Attacking perfectionism

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 My mind has been focused on Tucker's challenging behavior. Although he has been better than last year, he is still getting in his way and killing himself with self-criticism and perfectionism. He is never happy with his races-even when he gets first place it feels like a relief to be done but he doesn't have joy from his success. This year he has been more in control with throwing poles (once) and just shutting down a few times when he does not have a winning run. Last weekend he finished the final few gates shaking his head which means he was not focused on the present moment. Either he was worried about a mistake in the past or the outcome in the future but not the present moment on the course. 

Tucker talked with his coaches and they said the same thing. That Tucker is killing himself by being too hard on himself. In practice on Friday, he couldn't finish a run and that made him mad so he skied off and sat in the lodge. The answer should have been to take a few free runs to clear his head. 

Process

1. Id the belief-If I don't get a top spot I am no good? What is the belief? Life or death? That isn't true because you will be loved no matter what. 

2. experiment-change negative self talk for positive. Redirect thinking toward positive. I am just going to send it and attack the course. Process oriented. Stay in the moment on the course. 

3. Rigid thinking is holding you back-I have to do ___ I have to prove ____ the answer is flexibility on the course and with thinking

4. What are your perfectionist triggers? If I DNF I am no good? DNF is failure? Doesn't he think that finishing slow is worse? I am not sure what is going on in his head and he won't talk about it. 

5. Journal date/time, what was the situation? What perfectionist thinking did you engage in? What perfectionist behavior did you engage in? How did you feel?

6. experiment challenge your standards. What would happen if you relaxed your standards?

working toward impossible-to-reach levels of performance can be damaging, especially when it is constant.

It's ok to make mistakes-learn from them and move forward. 

Making mistakes or missing a goal makes you feel vulnerable, be courageous and face it head on. Challenge your beliefs that are telling you that you aren't good enough or a top ski racer. Put things into perspective. You have had random success this year-1st, 3rd, and 6th in Mac Cup. Those are great results plus points are dropping. 

Proverbs 9 Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding...reprove not a scorner...then a foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. ouch that hits close to home. But then the proverb goes on to say whosoever is simple, let him turn hither. 

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