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End week 3 day 21

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 It has been a busy Saturday. Last night I took 12 units (ish) of the glp1. I have it; I spent the money, and I should see what happens if I take it when I am sober. This morning, while I was lifting heavy legs, I thought I was going to puke. I had totally forgotten about the shot. Perhaps it was the creatine, or the lack of sleep, or a million other things, but it was probably the shot. I woke up early because I was excited to get to the gym. I need to be realistic. Rather than start with a lofty goal, like lift 3 times a week, I should set the bar at 2 days a week. Getting to the gym on Saturday and Sunday is attainable. However, that is also my long run day. What to do? I am reading a sober curious workbook. In the intro the author asks the simple question: what would actually change in your life if you drank less? Well I would be healthier. I would be able to keep the extra weight off and stick to a better diet. I would save money, be present with my family, say yes to doing th...
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Day 19 Thursday August 27, 2026

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 It occurred to me that being sober for a challenge feels like when I was pregnant. I did not drink. I did have a delicious mid-morning coffee with a chocolate chip pancake occasionally. I most clearly remember being pregnant with Tucker. It was the same with Cannon and Campbell; I was just busier. With Cannon, I was teaching classes, planning a wedding, and prepping for baby while trying to train for Boston. Then came the big road trip to Michigan and then on to our honeymoon out west. I don't remember wanting a drink. If it was there, I would have a sip, but big deal. I distinctly remember sitting at the pool in Utah, reading Jared Diamond and completely relaxing. I did not feel stressed or pressured. I feel a little like that now. I don't have a noose around my neck.  When we went out to Michigan in June 2007, I don't recall getting stupid drunk or drinking during the day. I drank in moderation, not desperation. That is the shift. I did not need alcohol to have fun; I li...
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75Hard 2 weeks +2

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 It is 28 days of experimenting with alcohol and its effects. I have been alcohol free for 16 days. For the previous 12 days, I looked at my drinking. I wanted to get a true sense of just how much I was drinking because when there is a black box and a frozen bottle, it is difficult to truly see how much you are consuming. I was exhausted from training in the heat and driving Campbell back and forth to wherever she needed to be...I made a ton of excuses. I had that meltdown in June with all the stress building and thinking I needed to put on this fantastic grad party while also planning a school trip and trying to get Mom out here. It was too much, and guess how I handled it? With alcohol. That day could have been really bad. Thank you, God, for watching over me.   We had so much fun at graduation and the parties. I wanted the fun to continue. However, there wasn't anybody to do anything with. I think I really began to feel the loneliness. The kids were all working. Tucker...
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75 Hardish round whatever

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 2026 annual attempt at 75 Hard Summer had gotten away from me. Mid-June, the pressure began to build. I was coaching track, planning and executing a field trip, and there were lacrosse games, shopping, and all the other normal things.  Everything was falling on my shoulders (I felt). Mom wasn't feeling well, and her doctor decided to take her off all of her medications to see what would happen, but she needed to stay close by in case it did not go well. That actually was a relief. I didn't want mom getting exhausted.  Besides, I would be so busy with all the party prep work. All that stress led me to drink more. The more I drank, the more I found myself in bad situations. I would teach, coach track, come home, and drink. Lacrosse game? Drink. Home alone? Drink. Nothing to do? Drink. I drove drunk a few times. The most memorable could have led to a DUI, but for some reason, I was spared.  Did it wake me up? Not really. I felt so ashamed that I drowned it out with a f...
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Story Time

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 Having drained the class, she wandered upstairs and opened her paint chipped closet door. There in the middle was her grandmother's mink coat. Fortunately it did not still hosts the face of the little creature from whom the fur had come. It was a beautiful coat. She had worn it the day of her wedding over the basic white wedding dress which was just pulling at the seems from the baby growing in her belly. She had felt terrible about the unplanned pregnancy and that they had had to move the wedding forward 3 months but they were already engaged and that was something...When she told her paternal grandmother about the baby, she cried, "It is like putting the cart before the horse." Her loving southern grandmother replied, "Honey, you are not the first to put that horse before the cart." It was comforting to hear her say those words. She loved her for her unconditional love. Before the wedding it was decided that she would not wear the corset as that additional la...
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Day 1 detox

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 I do not plan to weigh myself because that will just make me feel worse or maybe better...like if the weight isn't that bad, I will think I don't really need to change the way I am spending my time when I get home from school. Well...yes, I do. Pouring a glass and slipping away into the late afternoon is not the life I want to live.  The plan tonight when I come home ready for that veg out time... Coffee and toast with PC and banana and eggs. Breakfast for dinner. Kombucha, journal, walk with the dogs, and weights. There is plenty to do. Stick to the 75 hard checklist. Make lunch for Tuesday.  Check into  Breakfast Ezekial (80), PB (100), banana and avacado (50) on the other half. total (230) Lunch chicken salad (200) yogurt with fruit and seeds (200) total (400) Dinner 2 egg+1 white with cheese (250) ezek with CC and raspberry (200)   total 450 1/4 steak and cheese quesadilla with guac (250) total 250 Daily calories about 1400 calories and no alcohol Stop...
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One week later

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For 60 hours, I let all the requirements of 75 Hard fade away. I had wine, margaritas, junk food and no workouts. It is time to get back to it. I have to make a decision about the 55k. Am I in?  I continued living large for the entire week post-75 hard. It has been wild. Friday was my final day. The kids were waiting for their big playoff game while I finished my checklist and cooked burrito casserole. The game was exciting with the bomb threat, change of venue, and the eventual big win. I had my margaritas and burrito casserole. We hosted Ricardo from Germany and Nomar from Brooklyn, who will be coming here next year. On Saturday morning, the boys had an easy practice, I did my long run, and we just hung out all day. I really don't remember what else we did... Sunday was Father's Day. We argued about what to do and finally said, let's go to Portland. It was a beautiful, cool day. We ate at the Port Hole (something like that). It was so delicious. I had fish tacos, Tucker h...
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