75 Hardish round whatever

 2026 annual attempt at 75 Hard

Summer had gotten away from me. Mid-June, the pressure began to build. I was coaching track, planning and executing a field trip, and there were lacrosse games, shopping, and all the other normal things.  Everything was falling on my shoulders (I felt). Mom wasn't feeling well, and her doctor decided to take her off all of her medications to see what would happen, but she needed to stay close by in case it did not go well. That actually was a relief. I didn't want mom getting exhausted.  Besides, I would be so busy with all the party prep work. All that stress led me to drink more. The more I drank, the more I found myself in bad situations. I would teach, coach track, come home, and drink. Lacrosse game? Drink. Home alone? Drink. Nothing to do? Drink. I drove drunk a few times. The most memorable could have led to a DUI, but for some reason, I was spared. Did it wake me up? Not really. I felt so ashamed that I drowned it out with a few more drinks. 

The graduation parties were great. I'm glad we had Linda, Jeff, Kimberly, friends from campus along with Mike and Tracy. Dave Rodgers came over and spent a little time talking with everyone. Tucker had many of his friends stop by for something to eat and to play a few games. Cannon brought over his beer pong table and made numerous FA friends. I hate that he is dealing with the situation, and we will support him through it all. 

June was a whirlwind. The last full week with championship track meet, field trip Thursday and Friday, Baccalaureate, graduation, parties, and so much fun. I really had a fun time visiting with everyone on Saturday at our house. I was busy bringing out food, talking, and enjoying my day that I did not really drink much. That night we made steak and sat by the fire with Mike and Tracy. The next day we had rain, but the party was still on! It was great. I did get a bit drunk. Fortunately, I saw where I was going and walked home before I could really be an ass...I think. I did do the caterpillar and run down to supply the boys with all the candy, and I got sad when a woman asked if anyone told me that I am too much. LOL.  Her comment did not make me sad. When she followed up with don't you have your people (I guess it was obvious that I had been locked away in a barn), I said my mom is the only one who really knows me. That of course, is not true. Anyway...that wrapped up June. Oh yea and my Masters course ended. 

Moving into July my 55k training began. Just because you are running a lot, in the hot sun, does not mean you are going to lose weight. Actually, you are going to gain weight. I would get a 3 hour run, jump in the river, eat, then sit in the AC not moving for the next 7 hours. While sitting watching TV or scrolling, I would be eating and drinking a glass of wine or maybe tequila. It was mostly boring. Run, eat, drink, eat, TV and repeat. I remember a few days that were really weird. I went through July waking at crazy hours. I might wake at 3am and continue drinking or finish the last one I had poured before crashing. Let's be honest, passing out. The week before the race, I woke up at 1am, continued drinking and took the full dose of GLP1. I had not done that before. I went to bed about 3am and slept until noon. Campbell was worried about me. I also drove drunk to pick her up from driver's ed. I was singing Bob Segar and pulled into the parking lot a little too fast. Reckless and chaotic. That is what alcohol can do to me. And despite my experiences, there is a part of me that believes I can moderate. This time it will be different. 

After that weird night with the 1am glp1 shot, I decided it was time to get honest, and see clearly how much I was drinking, then reduce my intake. I knew that I was acting chaotically and fighting with Tucker. The stories were getting too much for me to carry. When that happens, the story changes. It becomes sadder, and hopeless, there is a little more self-pity that creeps into the story. The final week of July before I headed to Michigan for the race, I began to keep track of the number of drinks. As part of that, I started 75 Hard thinking that I would use it to reduce my alcohol over the next 75 days. It took me 12 days of counting, racing, and recovering to see that I needed to make a change ASAP. I think I assessed that I was drinking 2 bottles of wine a day or 10 glasses a day. Or it might be a bottle of wine and 4 shots of tequila in which case stay out of my way, I am ready to fight. I see red when I day drink and top it off with tequila. Is this funny? It is sad. I would say for two months from graduation until July 28, I was drinking at least 5 drinks a day, and usually 10 because I would pour that tequila into my huge wine glass with water and lime and it was a cup which is 5 shots. Let's not even talk about the expense and the calories. Those are the top 3 reasons to stop-empty calories, lost money, and chaos. 

July 28 I began to drink more mindfully. I had one bottle of wine that night. The next day I drove to MI and had 3 glasses, Thursday I had 4 glasses, Friday pre-race I had a bottle, Saturday after the race another bottle of Pinot with pizza, Sunday day 6 we went out with The Sisters. I had 2 martini's and gyro. Then I had a few more glasses at home. Monday a bottle and then went home and had 4 glasses. Then I just acted stupid. Got my tooth pulled then ate all the food and drank tequila and wine. Thursday drank early and then with Tucker and we got into a huge fight. Friday and Saturday I felt awful about our fights and what to do. Sunday was day 1 no alcohol. 

August 22, 2026 Day 14 

I don't know my weight, or how much I have lost. I only know that I have been 14 days without alcohol and I am proud of that right now. Not only am I not drinking and doing all the things, but I have been put in the hot seat. On day 3, we went to the lake with Molly and Andrew. It was a good day. My mind was already primed for the emotional sobriety along with the physical sobriety. I was able to safely drive Campbell home at 9pm. That felt good and made me proud of myself. There are people that will never know that feeling. Thank goodness. The next big thing was going out to eat at a really nice restaurant with Dave and Helen. I ordered the NA prosecco and it was really good. I also started the night with a shot of espresso. That night was a success. Helen did tell me I should have a drink because it will be over when school starts. I laughed and said, "No thanks." I guess those were the only 2 sorta big things. I mean there are long boring days, but I just go to bed early. 

When I wake up feeling toned or trim, I will weigh myself. If that does not happen, I will weigh myself on day 21. Maybe the urge will hit me. 

For now, I am happy with my progress. Reassessing my behaviors and especially trying to understand my why has helped me see there is lots of work to be done to heal that inner child, or my true self or whatever it is. 

Diet-high protein, calorie deficit

Pic-got it

Workout-I missed workouts when we went to the lake and the following day. I can't believe I forgot about that. Boo. I guess since I lost 12 days in the beginning, I just sort of marked it off as closer to 75 soft or just call it 60 days alcohol free. I have thought what it would be like to do this forever. I just don't know. If I start up again, will I be able to stop? Have I learned that 2 drinks is all you need because the more you add the cup just runs over and it is wasted the only place to go after the perfect buzz is down. More alcohol will make me fall asleep or get stupid. 

Off to bed. Beginning week 3. This week has day 15, 20, 21. Milestones.